Archive for the ‘Rich Jerk Rants’ Category
Can You Have More Sales, Too?
Helping over 102,000+ businesses like yours raise profits and build customer relationships using AWeber's opt-in email marketing software for over 10 years.
An open letter to all Losers who keep whining about not getting any traffic to their lame-ass websites:
STFU.
The reason none of your traffic is converting is because the traffic you’re breaking your pimply butt over isn’t worth a damn. It’s random. It’s untargeted. It’s the online equivalent of driving a Prius -- it seems like a good idea, until you actually start doing it.
If you want to spend your time doing something productive (you know, that will actually make you some money), spend your time getting quality visitors to your website.
I’d rather have 100 quality visitors than 100,000 untargeted, low-quality site visitors any day of the week.
Why? Simple: Because quality website traffic buys crap. Untargeted, low-quality traffic doesn’t.
So if you’re spending money buying low quality website traffic, then it sucks to be you. Really. You might as well pull that money out of the ATM, wipe your bum with it, roll it up and snort a few lines of coke, then toss it in the garbage along with a flaming bottle of vodka and watch it go up in smoke. You’d actually be getting some use from your money that way.
The art of driving traffic is all about finding people who are actually interested in your product, and getting them to your website. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. And you know what? It actually IS easy, and yet very few people out there are able to pull it off.
Yet more proof that most of you are morons. But I digress…
Here are some ways to get yourself some quality traffic:
1. Track your conversions on paid advertising
Only complete idiots spend money on traffic that doesn’t make them money. So if you’re not tracking conversions, and you’re actually paying for the site traffic you get -- you’re hella stupid and will never, ever, ever become rich like me.
Most advertising sites give you tracking code you can use to see what’s actually giving you a return on your investment. And most affiliate programs offer tracking IDs. If you aren’t getting a return, stop paying for the traffic immediately. If you are, then pay as much as you can for that traffic and watch the money roll in.
2. Build an email list.
Duh. People who opt into an email list are basically screaming at you “I’M INTERESTED IN BUYING YOUR CRAP!!!!” It’s a great way to weed out the “lookie-loos” from the people who will actually make you money.
If you’re 100% brain dead and think email marketing is hard, it’s not. It’s super easy. Just sign up for any newsletter service out there, copy and paste a bit of HTML code onto your site, and boom! You’re building a list.
Anyone who is not building email lists is a Loser. Pure and simple.
3. Target the right keywords.
Most of you butt-monkies out there have no idea how important proper keyword research is on the internet. Keywords are the basis of how people find websites! If you target the right keywords, not just for your paid ads, but for your blog pages and so forth, you will find the type of traffic you’re looking for.
For instance, someone searching for the keyword “TV” is a lot less likely to buy than someone searching for “Sony Wega SXRD 60″ Rear Projection TV.” One of those keywords is a “casual shopper” keyword. The other one is a “buyer” keyword. (I’ll let you figure out which one is which) The difference? The person typing in the buyer keyword is a lot more likely to spend money than the casual shopper.
So if you can figure out the keywords your buyers are using to search the internet, you can target ranking your website or buying ads for those keywords, and get more of that delicious quality traffic. Yum!
There’s a lot more I could tell you about how to find quality traffic. But these three tips should get you started in the right direction. But if you really, really, really want to learn more, buy my freakin’ book. It’s awesome. I’m awesome. You’re not until you get my course. So there.
So start getting quality traffic and stop your complaining. Or keep getting crap traffic and whine like a mule. Your choice.
Later Losers,
--RJ
P.S. If you’re reading this, take the time to comment on my freakin’ blog and tell me what a genius I am. Otherwise, screw off.
